Self Talk

Self Talk

Our self talk is the internal dialogue, or thoughts that we have with ourselves. It is similar to having the radio on low in the background. We might be aware that it’s on while we are doing some other activity, but not until a song comes on that we like do we really pay attention to it. Our thoughts are the same. We are always thinking, but we don’t always pay attention to our thoughts. Our self talk is that little voice in our head that monitors, processes and advises us on how to relate to the world on a regular basis.

Self Talk is also referred to as inner dialogue. This suggests more than one ‘participant’ in the intra-personal communication process and they are variously labeled as the conscious self, the subconscious self, the self and Higher Self, self-as-process (‘I’) and self-as-object (‘Me’).

Conscious self talk is when we are concentrating on what we are thinking, such as trying to solve a problem, determine how we feel or make a decision. At this time we are very aware of our thoughts and could easily express our thoughts to others.

Automatic Thoughts or unconscious self talk is very close to behavioral habits. Just as we habitually complete an activity, such as walking, with very little conscious effort, our thinking is the same. Automatic thinking is the process of conscious thoughts repeated year after year until they become a habit. As with any habit over time less attention is paid to it until it gets to the stage where you are not even aware of it. The automatic thinking process allows the mind time that would be spent focusing on routine activities, to process more important issues such as problem solving.

Both conscious and unconscious thinking processes can be divided into three different areas, Neutral, Positive and Negative

Neutral thinking is every day moment to moment thinking about trivial activities. It has very little serious impact on our lives (eg I like that red chair, Will I have fish or chicken for tea?)

Positive thinking brings about positive payoffs and is a hallmark of successful people. Positive thinking encompasses logical problem solving as well as optimism, confidence and rationality.

Negative thinking is pessimistic, self defeating and self undermining. Negative thinkers are overly influenced by their emotions, are more problem than solution focused, lack confidence and often fear failure.

The terms positive and negative are actually the extreme ends of a continuum on styles of thinking. In general you might put yourself as a positive thinker, however in certain situations you may lean towards some of the characteristics of a negative thinker. Everybody has the capacity to find themselves at either end of this continuum during different times in their life.

Cognitive therapy is a type of treatment that focuses on identifying particular negative ways of thinking and then challenging those thoughts. Research has highlighted that particular Self Defeating Beliefs and Irrational Thinking Styles can lead to a variety of unwanted emotions and behaviors.

One of the aims of cognitive therapy is to help those of us with emotional disorders to modify the self-talk or the ‘negative automatic thoughts’ which express emotional distress. These thoughts occur more spontaneously and far more frequently in the distressed, but none of us is free of them completely.

Self Talk and Happiness

The good news is that self talk can be used to support and affirm the positive aspects of our self-concept, to energize us and, in its crafted, deliberate forms (ie, affirmations), to program our subconscious in line with our requirements. We can also learn to quieten or even stop the chatter in order to listen more intently, either to others or to ourselves.

Positive Adjectives List and the Happiness Self Statements are examples of positive self talk.

There is evidence, especially from sports psychology, to demonstrate the efficacy of self-talk for improving performance. Studies have shown that different types of self-talk interventions, including statements relevant to the task (‘accelerate along this straight’), ‘mood’ statements and words (eg, ‘drive’, ‘go for it’) and positive self-affirmations (‘1 enjoy feeling so strong’) can all enhance actual performance.

Self-talk which evokes the ‘right’ mental images and emotions can be especially effective. Self-talking ourselves into enjoying our meals, for example, may be more effective as a strategy than trying to force ourselves to eat more slowly.

How is your self talk?

Pay attention to how you interpret different events and whether you are falling under the category of a positive or a negative thinker?

The relevance of all this is that research shows that by controlling our self talk and thoughts, Keeping it at the more positive end of the spectrum will, more often than not, lead to sustained happiness and to more success.

Techniques

• Self-talking in the present tense so that our statements have maximum strength (‘I enjoy eating’ is stronger than ‘I could enjoy eating if I ate more slowly’)
• Prefacing statements with ‘I choose’
• Emphasizing the process (‘I enjoy running’) rather than the outcome (‘I must beat four minutes’)
• Using ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ statements.

Until Next time

Nevin