ABCDE – Exercising

ABCDE for Successful Mind Management: Exercise

This is the exercise of using the rational thinking so as to consolidate what you have learned.

Now we will look at four ways to be more aware of your new more rational thinking:

1. Cueing

Use behaviours or feelings that occur on a daily basis to remind you to consciously practice thinking rational thoughts. E.g. Any “What if” thought can remind you to think of the rational thought.

2. Journaling

You need to keep some form of written journal going, and to include your successes as well as the failures and problems. You need to get into the habit of periodically looking back and noticing things you’ve accomplished and can feel good about in some way. This is redirecting attention to the rational.

3. Priming;

Put together a list of rational thoughts, especially ones that challenge your core irrational beliefs.

Write them on small cards and put them in your purse or wallet or pocket. Every hour take a card out and read it. Have you been thinking like this in the past hour, or thinking the usual irrational thoughts? Repeat the thought 10-20 times, then replace the card. By doing this you get into the habit of thinking rational, and of picking up where your thinking went wrong, not long after it has actually occurred.

4. Thought Management Techniques

To stop having irrational thoughts all the time try the following

Thought Stopping

When you are aware of the negative irrational thought imagine a big red stop sign in your face and say STOP to your self. Now this wont last very long at first but with ongoing practice you will spend less time with the irrational thought and you will be able to insert the positive rational thought.

Worry Time

Set time aside aside each day with a limit on the amount of time and save all your worry for this time. Stop worrying when the time is up.

Simple Distraction

Go and do something else. Read a book, talk to a friend,draw, go for a run etc

Acting As If

Acting as though the new positive, rational thoughts are true will cause the new thoughts to become the new habit. Simple repetition is the major factor. You need to practice the new behaviour in a variety of situations, not just one or two. Consider the following guidelines for activities you tend to be fearful of doing.

• Identify goals you wish to achieve:
• Identify and list the steps involved in achieving that goal:
• One Step at A Time:

You do not make significant change just overnight! Keep your expectation realistic. Try to tackle only 1-2 steps at a time or else you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed. Do not attempt

anything you are certain to fail at. (You need an intermediate step in between first). Change is best accomplished one step at a time.

• Rehearsing the Situation to be Prepared:

If preparing for a stressful event, you need to plan your thinking as well as your behaviour. This means thinking about all possible and probable outcomes and devising strategies to deal with each. Think how you could cope if you became angry or anxious for example. Plan how you would deal with possible unpleasant feelings or unexpected events.

It is not always possible to feel calm and in control. Allow yourself to experience unpleasant emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Think constructively and tell yourself that you can get through it.

• Self-Reward:

It seems such a simple thing, but it is so often neglected. You would not think of using techniques with your children without using praise or rewards of some kind. Watch how children learn, and how adults also operate on a reward/punishment system on many levels. You will see that no one learns anything unless there is some sort of reward in it for him or her. This may be a treat, or to focus with pleasure on what you have achieved.

SUMMARY:

Once you have identified your own tendencies toward irrational beliefs and thinking styles, you can make your thinking more effective in dealing with problems by asking yourself the following questions.

How do I know that what I am thinking is true?

Is there another way I could think about this?

What advantages are there in adopting an alternative viewpoint?

Are my thoughts helping me to achieve my goals?

Are my thoughts helping me to get on with others whom I care about?

Is my thinking helping me to feel good about myself and my life?

Am I using one of the 9 irrational thinking styles?

Am I adhering to one of Ellis’ 10 irrational beliefs?

What is a more rational response?

How could I act to improve the situation?

A FINAL THOUGHT ON THOUGHTS:

You were not born with certain thought styles; you learned them. If you’ve become good at generating irrational thoughts, then you can certainly become good at generating rational ones. You are not brain dead! You can learn new ways to think, just as you’ll continue to learn new things for the rest of your life. The consequence of changing your thinking is to increase your chances of dealing successfully with unpleasant and uncomfortable situations. It will help you to become more confident, and allow you to make the changes in your behaviour which you want to.