ABCDE – Disputing

ABCDE for Successful Mind Management: Disputing

Just being aware of your irrational beliefs and negative thoughts is not going to change anything. Simple awareness of a bad habit doesn’t mean you’re going to give up that habit. You need to actually challenge your thinking.

The first step is to ask yourself….?

Why do I believe my own thoughts?

The more often you think something, the more likely you are to believe it. Many of your automatic thoughts have been with you for years, and because of their familiarity, you are less likely to question them. Automatic thoughts are based on belief systems taught to you by your family and are often reinforced by friends and society. Remember that just because an idea is commonly held, doesn’t mean it is valid or true. Other people’s beliefs are not necessarily right for you. Recognise that many of your thoughts are not facts. They are merely assumptions, which determine how you feel and what you do.

How to Dispute Your (Irrational) Thoughts:

To dispute or challenge your thinking means analyzing each automatic thought. You must get out of the habit of automatically believing your irrational or negative thoughts. Changing your thinking is to have two streams of self talk going on inside your head. One represents the distorted or negative thoughts that you are familiar with. The other steam provides the new rational and positive thoughts. Each time you give attention to the irrational you must give equal time to the rational.

Four techniques are involved in discovering if thoughts are rational or not and how to dispute them if they are irrational.

1. What is true?

(a) Evidence? (b) Factually true?

2. Alternative explanations?

3. Decatastrophising – finding positives also in your life?

4. Advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way. Is this helpful? (Making it of benefit).

1. Is this true ?

(a) What is the evidence?

The evidence used to support an irrational thought is likely to be distorted in one of two ways. The first distortion is that positive information is less likely to be recalled than negative information. Secondly, neutral or positive information is interpreted as negative. Similarly the same negative information is interpreted as even more negative than the facts would warrant. I.e. positive is under-estimated; negative is over-estimated:

You are likely to under-estimate you own resources and abilities.

You are likely to under-estimate you own and other’s support.

You are likely to over-estimate likelihood of bad things happening.

You are likely to over-estimate severity of the bad things.

Looking for evidence relies on facts rather than opinions. Do you have any objective proof that your thinking is correct?

” Do I really know for sure?

How do I know that?

Do I know all the facts?”

This might mean that you need to find out more information before acting directly.

You must make effort to:

(a) Uncover evidence,

(b) Uncover evidence that disconfirms your belief

(c) Question the validity of negative evidence.

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Ask yourself, what is the evidence for this belief?

For example: if you believe you have offended someone, you can test this by objectively examining that person’s behaviour towards you. Or, might ask the person if you have caused offence.

It is important to weigh up and review evidence for each specific negative thought. If, for example, you were thinking ‘This will be too difficult’, you could ask yourself ‘How do I know it is too difficult?’ What exactly do I think will be hard?’ ‘How can I test out this assumption?’ One piece of evidence alone is not enough to support a negative conclusion.

(b) Is this realistic?

When you identify your core beliefs, try to rewrite the belief to make it more rational and less problematic. For example:

Core belief – I have to be liked by everybody or I am worthless

Rational Response – I would like to be liked by everybody but sometimes this is not possible and my worth does not depend on it.

The core belief in the example would result in a lot of distress. The rational response would more likely lead to liking yourself, achieving your goals and getting on better with other people. If you have problems identifying the core belief, look for themes in your diary if you keep one. If a your irrational thoughts are similar, there is probably a common core belief responsible for the irrational thoughts.

Now, ask yourself how your behaviour and feelings will change with your new rational response  and compare this to your behaviour with the core irrational beliefs in place.

2. Is there an alternative explanation for this?

What evidence can you find that disconfirms your belief?

What other explanation could there be for this event? (E.g. If people look at you when you enter a room, what explanations are there besides that they think you’re ugly? If someone fails to phone, what other explanations are there besides that they forgot?)

3. Decatastrophising

- Putting the situation into perspective.

- Finding positives to balance the problem.

- Is this the whole truth? What else is true?

Answering each specific irrational thought, with an alternative positive and realistic thought, puts situations into perspective. Ask yourself:

• What good things are there in my life besides this problem?
• How likely is it that the worst will happen?

To develop a balanced and realistic view point you need to take into account all the things that happen to you, not just the unpleasant ones.

Recognising that “What ifs” are usually fantasies and unlikely to happen also creates balance.

There is an enormous difference between planning how to deal with difficulties if they occur and simply dwelling on the worst!

4. Disaster Scale

‘What if’ statements create anxiety because the underlying assumption is that you won’t be able to cope whatever happens.

Remind yourself that there are things you can do to remove or relieve the stress of unpleasant situations that may occur in the future. Dealing with the unexpected provides opportunities for growth and learning. It leads to increases in self-efficacy, self esteem. Instead of being scared of change and looking for the worst, approach it as an exciting new change or adventure. Remember ’so what if… happens, I will cope’.

5. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this way of thinking?

Is this perspective helpful?

If not, how can I find something good in it, turn the “lemon” into “lemonade” or find the silver lining.

Consider the advantages of adopting an alternative viewpoint. Would you be able to deal more effectively with the problem if you changed your attitude?

Ask yourself four things:

(a) Is there a more positive way I could look at this that will help me to deal with the problem and feel better?

(b) What would I have thought about this before I developed an anxiety disorder?

(c) What might someone else whose views I trust think about this?

(d) What would I say to another person who came to me with this problem?

Sometimes people are ambivalent about challenging certain beliefs. If you have a belief or thought that causes you problems or distress but you believe you have to live by it, or you think you have to accept it because it was taught to you then ask yourself these things:

• Are my thoughts helping me to achieve my goals?
• Are my thoughts helping me to get on with others whom I care about?
• Is my thinking helping me to feel good about myself and my life?
• Do the advantages of this thinking outweigh the disadvantages?

Then examine the advantages and disadvantages of this belief or way of thinking. How would you act or feel if you didn’t think this way? Write your answers below.

Advantages

Disadvantages

Old Belief

New Belief

Summary on Disputing Thoughts:

Write the questions you plan to ask yourself to identify and then change irrational thoughts (beliefs):

1………………………………………………………………………………………………………

2………………………………………………………………………………………………………

3………………………………………………………………………………………………………

4……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

5………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Substitute the New Belief or Habit

Have a fresh look at what you’re thinking.

Is it really rational or are you getting confused by your feelings?

What evidence do you have for what you’re thinking?

Is your conclusion based on habit or fact?

Try to be like a scientist or a detective, and stick only to what you can hear/see/touch/smell/taste.

Are you making assumptions unsupported by facts?

Do you have all the information?

Are you asking yourself questions without answers? (E.g.: Why me? Well, why not?).

What else would you like to think in this situation?

To help you with this, concentrate on the C of the A-B-C-D-E sequence.

What would you like to have happen?

How would you like to feel?

What do you need to do to achieve that?

Putting it into Practice

Having learned all these techniques you now have to put it into action. You have to replace your old thinking habits with new ones.

Method: At least once a day, take a few minutes and think over the events of the day.

Where/when did you feel bad?

Replay the situation over in your mind and listen in to your thinking.

What thoughts automatically spring to mind? Try to actually write down your thinking process, identifying what errors in thinking you made, where you went wrong and what it is that you’d like to say.

Then visualise that scene in your mind, this time deliberately thinking about the words that you’d like to think. Run them over in your mind a few times.

E.g.. The person in the lane cut me off- leads to feelings of frustration and depression – Thought “I’m so sick of everyone treating me unfairly” try thinking instead “he probably didn’t check his mirror”

DON’T discount the effects of actually writing things down. Initially the habitual, negative thoughts will be difficult to answer back if you try to do it while you are actually thinking. Chances are you’ll probably run out of positive thoughts before you’ve exhausted all the negative ones. Writing them down focuses you on the positive thoughts, and allows you to generate a number of different ones. Quantity, not quality, is important in the early stages.

As a guide to devising new thoughts to answer back the old ones, use the following:

F.A.A.R.P.S

Rational Thoughts Are:

Flexible

Adaptable

Accurate

Reasonable

Positive

Solution Focused

Irrational Thoughts Are:

Inflexible

Not Adaptable

Inaccurate

Unreasonable

Negative

Not solution focused

Now move onto the E part of the sequence.