Self Defeating Belief Number 4

If things don’t turn out the way I want them to be it’s a total disaster and completely intolerable.

It is very healthy to have plans and to want things to work out right, however problems can arise depending on our reactions when things don’t turn out to plan. Life is forever throwing us a curve ball, it’s these types of challenges that allow us to grow and develop as a human. We simply can not predict or change the future no matter how well we make plans. It’s frustrating when life doesn’t go to plan, but it is rational to accept these changes and make the most of what has happened.

There are certain things that are out of our control that it is easier to accept and change plans rather than stick rigidly to our old plans which leads to us feeling very upset and disappointed. A very simple example is planning for weeks a beach picnic with friends, however the morning of the picnic you awake to find that it is pouring down rain outside. We can’t control the weather no matter what we do. Some one who fully believes the above statement would be extremely disappointed, angry and upset after the weather. However someone with a more flexible belief make say to themselves “OK can’t control the weather- yeah I’m disappointed but maybe we can all go a restaurant instead” This second person thinks in a flexible and adaptive way to make the most of the situation and changes plans in accordance with Life, whereas the first person is experiencing a lot of negative emotions.

A healthier idea

It is disappointing when things aren’t how I would like them to be, but I can cope with that. Usually I take constructive steps to make things more as would like them to be, but if I can’t, It doesn’t benefit me to exaggerate my disappointment.