Self Defeating Belief Number 10

I should become upset when other people have problems and feel unhappy when they’re sad.

It is natural to be concerned for a friend or family member when they are experiences some difficulties and this shows signs of being a compassionate person. However when you become over-involved in other people’s problems not only are you using up your energy and time to deal with a situation that is someone else’s responsibility, but you are also taking away their opportunity to grow and learn. If we are forever solving other people’s problems, that is not leaving much time for us to achieve our goals and look at improving our own life. When we take on board other people’s problems we also take on board their emotional reaction to those problems, which uses up our own energy and resources. A good question to ask yourself if find yourself having a strong emotional reaction is “WHo’s problem is this?’ if you answer is that is is someone else problem, then it is that persons responsibility to solve it. You can provide support in a compassionate and caring way and offer advice is asked, but leave the problem with them, that way you also leave the emotions with them.

A healthier idea

It is sad to see other people in trouble, but I don’t help them by making myself miserable. I can cope with feeling sad, and sometimes I can take constructive steps to help them.