Non Verbal Communication – Complementing

Complementing

Complementary nonverbal behaviours signal the attitudes interactants have for one another. 

Eg If you saw a person talking to a policeman, and their head was bowed slightly, voice low and hesitant, they were shuffling slowly from foot to foot, you might conclude that the person felt inferior and were being reprimanded. The nonverbal behaviours provided the context for the verbal behaviours. 

A lot of complementing behaviour consists of illustrators – nonverbal behaviours that accompany and support spoken words. 

Eg scratching your head when searching for an idea.

Illustrators are often when emotionally aroused, when trying to explain ideas that are difficult to put into words, when furious are furious, horrified, very agitated, distressed, or excited.

Non Verbal Communication – Accenting

Accenting

We use italics to highlight a written idea. We use nonverbal accents to emphasize spoken messages. Pointing an accusing finger adds emphasis to criticism. Accenting certain words with the vocal intonation (”It was your idea!”) is another way to add nonverbal emphasis.

Temperament – Persistence and Attention Span

PERSISTENCE & ATTENTION SPAN

 

Persistence & Attention Span refers to the ability to stay with a task through frustrations and the length of time on the task. A persistent person can sit and continue until the task is complete whereas a person who tends to have a short attention span will just give up when they become frustrated or distracted.

Can you stay with an activity for a long period of time or do you just give up when you become frustrated?

 

PERSISTENCE & ATTENTION SPAN

      Persistent/Long___________________________________________Intermitent/Short

 

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

For the someone who shows low persistence:

• Break tasks into small steps, and acknowledge small successes.
• Try timed work periods followed by short breaks.
• Reward them for sustained effort and finished assignments.

 

For the those who are overly persistent:

• Provide lots of warning before transitions.
• Remind them that it’s not always possible to be perfect.

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Sensitivity

SENSITIVITY

 

Sensitivity refers to how easily you are disturbed by changes in the environment. It is also referred to as Sensory Threshold or threshold of responsiveness. If you are sensitive you may be distracted by a door slamming and will not be able to maintain focus. Whereas those who tend not to be sensitive to external noises are able to maintain their focus.

 

Do you get bothered by external stimuli in the environment, eg noises, textures, lights, etc. or do you just seem not to be bothered by them at all and simply ignore them?

                                  

SENSITIVITY

          Nonreactive___________________________________________Sensitive

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

For the those with high sensitivity:

• Acknowledge their feelings and provide ways for them to make themselves more comfortable.
• Layer clothes to allow for adjustments on days that are too warm or too cold.
• Avoid overstimulation, e.g., loud music, strobe lights, noisy groups of people.

 

For someone with low sensitivity:

• Notice external cues by paying attention to sounds in the environment, odors, and changes in the colors of stoplights leaves etc. Use mindfulness techniques.
• Become aware of interpersonal cues, such as facial expressions, body language, personal space.

 

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Distractibility

DISTRACTIBILITY

 

Distractibility refers to the tendency to be sidetracked by other things going on around you.  Someone who is easily distracted notices everything going on around them and has a hard time returning back to the task at hand. Whereas if you are rarely distracted you have  the ability to stay focused and complete the task at hand.

Are you easily distracted by what is happening in the environment around you or can you concentrate despite the interruptions?

 

DISTRACTIBILITY

               Rarely___________________________________________Easily

 

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

If you are highly distractible:

• Reduce external distractions as much as possible.
• Keep instructions short.
• Use a special cue — gesture or word — to remind them to get back on task.

 

For the person who has low distractibility:

• Cue them when it’s time to move on to something new, e.g., say their name or touch their arm.
• Set a timer to remind them when to move on to the next task or activity.

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Intensity

INTENSITY

 

Intensity refers to the energy level of a positive or negative response. If you are on the more on the intense side you may jump up and down screaming with excitement whereas a mild mannered person may just smile.

Do you react intensely to a situation or  respond in a calm and quiet manner?

 

INTENSITY

                 Mild___________________________________________Intense

 

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

If you know someone who is less responsive:

• Don’t equate a lack of intensity with lack of feelings.
• Watch and listen carefully to pick up more subtle clues to problems.

 

For the overly responsive person:

• Control of emotional responses through anger management, self-talk, or calming strategies may be necessary.

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Adaptability

ADAPTABILITY

 

Adaptability refers to how long it takes to adjust to change. This is different from the Initial Reaction. Adaptability refers to the long term adjustment made after the first reaction to the new situation.  For someone  who adjusts easily they may be quick or it may take no time at all to settle into a new routine. Whereas those  who are resistant it may take a long time to adjust to the situation.

Do you adjust to the changes in your environment easily or are you resistant to what is happening around you?

                                      

ADAPTABILITY

                Quick___________________________________________Gradual

 

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

 

For people who are slow to adapt:

•  Give plenty of warning about transitions.
•  Role play or practice expected behaviors before going into new situations.
•  Acknowledge the stress you may feel in new situations and encourage communication about it.

 

For those who adapt too easily:

• Teach yourself to make your own decisions rather than just go along with the group.
• Start to find out all you can about an activity before signing up and committing your time.

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Initial Reaction

INITIAL REACTION

Initial reaction is also known as Approach or Withdrawal. This refers to how you respond to new people or environments either positive or negative.  Someone who is bold will tend to approach things quickly as if without thinking. More cautious people typically prefer to watch for a while before engaging in new experiences.

 

Do you check out people or things in their environment without hesitation or shy away?

 

INITIAL REACTION

      Bold/Approaches___________________________________________Cautious

 

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

For someone who approaches new situations easily:

• Develop firm rules to provide a safe environment for curiosity.
• Teach yourself to use reasonable caution with new people or in new situations.

 

For someone who withdraws:

• Allow time to adjust to new situations; let yourself set the pace.
• Quietly encourage them, without pushing, to try new activities and make new friends.

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2008

Temperament – Regularity

Regularity

This is also known as Rhythmicity and refers to the level of predictability in a child’s biological functions such as waking, becoming tired, hunger and bowel movements. Does the child have a routine in their eating and sleeping habits or do they just seem to happen whenever? A child who is predictable will need to eat at 2pm everyday whereas a child who is less predictable will eat at sporadic times throughout the day.

 

Regularity

Predictable/Regular_________________________________Unpredictable/Sporadic

 

 

Tips for Managing the Extremes

For someone who demonstrates high predictability:

• Provide advance warning of changes in routine.

• Help them learn to handle changes to develop flexibility in behaviours.

 

For those with low predictability:

• Create routines, eg sit down with the family for dinner even if you are not hungry or go to bed at a regular time even if not sleepy.

• Reward successes, such as turning in a paper on time

 

 

Reference: Wikipedia

Photocredit: Nevin Taylor 2006

Neurological Levels

Neurological Levels

 

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain.

                                                             Henry David Thoreau

 

We often think about things on “different Levels”. Robert Dilts has developed a model for personal change, learning and communication that considers the ideas of context, levels of learning and perceptual position. It provides a framework for organising and gathering information, so you can identify the best point to intervene to make any desired change.

This is based on systems theory where there are natural hierarchies or levels of experience. The information in each level is organised and controlled by the one above it. By changing something on an upper level, changes are effected on the lower levels. Changing something at a lower level could, but not necessarily, affect the upper levels.

Dilts’ model looks at the relations and influences of the different parts of our selves and environment.

The following levels seem to be important to consider:

 

Spiritual:

“Spiritual” factors come from our perception of being a part of larger and larger systems surrounding us.

Related to anything else?

 

Vision and Purpose:

Why you are who you are, what you are here for. How you can be fulfilled? Is there more involved than the obvious?

Your contribution to society.

 

Identity:

This answers the question: who am I?
Identity gives you a basic sense of self and expression of core values. Identity has primarily to do with mission. It is the deepest (or highest) level.

Our identity determines our overall vision or purpose (mission).

 

Mission:

Your mission is a statement of what it is that you do.

 

Belief Systems:

This level has to do with the values and beliefs of the individual. It answers the question: why am I doing this?

Beliefs and values are the various ideas we think are true and use as a basis for daily action. Beliefs can be both permissive and limiting.

Values:

Things we see as important to ourselves.

 

Permission & motivation:

Our beliefs and values provide the reinforcement that supports or denies our capabilities (motivation and permission).

Capabilities:

Our capabilities are the groups or sets of behaviours, general skills and strategies that we can use in our life. We use them to guide and give direction to behavioural actions through mental maps, Models path or strategies that generates more specific behaviours.

 

Direction & Choice:

What visions, missions and goals we decide on and what maps, models and strategies we choose to achieve these.

 

Specific Behaviors:

Behaviour is made up of the specific actions or reactions taken within our daily environment.
Regardless of our capabilities, behaviour describes what we actually do. It answers the question: what am I doing?

The Environment:

Environmental factors determine the external ‘givens’ we have to react to.

 

This has to do with the external context in which behaviour occurs and answers the question: when and where does this behaviour occur?  The environment to some degree determines the Opportunities available to us and the & Constraints imposed on us.

Exercise: Link to Word Document Neurological Level Worksheet. 

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